How's your heart?

Hello hello! :) I swear I won't blog a super duper long hate post about love and men. (Just a little hehe)

The contents of this post will only be from my point of view at the moment, so please, don't judge. Hehe (I just want to let go of stuff that I want to say)

♥♥♥♥♥

How's your heart? Mine's fine. It still functions and beats. I still love and I still hate, a lot. It still feels a lot of emotions in a day and sometimes it bothers the hell out of my mind. I can still say, I'm alive and I'm thankful for it.

We love to feel, especially when we want to be happy. Everyone wants to love, and even the hardest of all the hardest hearts can love. Love is that powerful and crazy.

Anywaaaay, lately my heart's been down. It's not that I wanna cut myself or cry myself to sleep. That's too emo for my lifestyle. It's just down. Depressed? Disappointed? Broken? Confused? Maybe... But not sad. I'm too awesome to be sad. Hahahahaha

I'm all good now after a week of wallowing in confusion and depression, I just don't want to give a damn with people who doesn't deserve it. I'm too young to give a fuck, you know.

Whatever reason there is why these things happen, it's in God's hands. I don't need to question Him everyday "Why? Why me?", because everything happens for a very very good reason. You just need to be happy in whatever position you're in right now, because each day is a blessing.

Each one of us deserves a happy ending, it may not be your time of the year, but it will soon happen! :) Don't go kill yourself and hate every damn person who pass your way. I know, life sucks big time, but if you make every stupid and miserable memory control your life, you'll be stuck miserable and stupid. BE HAPPY! Find a hobby, find a friend, talk to God, get closer with your family, find a freaking job, go out and travel the world; there are a lot of things to do!! 

YOU DON'T NEED A PARTNER TO MAKE YOU HAPPY. (relationship hater here, just kidding hehe) I mean seriously, if you found the "love of your life", good for you! But if you're single and you feel lonely, don't go spend all the seconds of your life looking for "the one". He's out there somewhere, you might have met him already but doesn't know it yet. But please, GET A LIFE, HAVE A LIFE, LIVE YOUR LIFE. But if you're one of those people who wants to try and try until you succeed, then go! I don't care. Hahahaha

Okay, so I wanna talk about my heart now, because I'm self-centered and this is my blog. Hehe. I don't even know where to start, I'll bullet the stuff I wanna say:

• Attention bitches and bastards, don't go fucking mess a good relationship. Because for all we know, you don't want yours to be messed with also. PS. Don't mess with mine, because you don't want me to go bitching on you.
• Men, be freaking sensitive. Don't be selfish and annoying because every girl deserves to be treated right just as much as you want to be treated like a damn king.
• Girls, be sensitive also. Hahaha. I mean seriously, you wanna be treated like a princess? Be considerate, reasonable, understanding and affectionate.
• I don't trust you, I just don't. You don't get to tell me that I keep on doubting you, because I should have from the first time. You don't get to tell me stuff and make me believe you then your actions speak otherwise. How foolish of me. DAMN YOU, ASSHOLE. Now you made me more mistrustful and doubtful.
• YOU ARE A SLUT, AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT. Are you a sad person that you can't find your own man and  want someone else's man?
• I miss you, I really really do. I regret stuff, but not really. My heart's too proud. And what you did was worse!!
• You can't blame all the fault on me, because you're a big fat liar and you always want the easy way. Hassle-free life, wow. (I'm so proud of you! In less than two weeks, you are where you are now. WOW, amazing)

Okay I got bored thinking of mean and hateful things to say, so I'm stopping now. Hahaha I know what I said on the first part of this post is contrary to my bullet, but yea. HAHAHA I'm that confusing. I'm sorry. ;)

So, how's your heart, buddy? :) Hope it's great, because life's too good to be sad about anything! Be sad on the first 3days, let everything go and think about what's wrong and what's not, but don't get yourself too attached with the pain and sadness. It'll make your life miserable and angry with small things.

Get up, stand and be happier and stronger :) God's with you, He loves you more than anyone else in this world! He won't give you anything that you can't handle! You've got your family, friends and God. You can have all the love you need with them, and when the right time comes for your God's best, be ready. He/She's out there somewhere, looking/waiting for you.

Goodnight everyone!

Xoxoxoxoxoxo,

SANDY ♥

Refinement in Simplicity

PLEASE, FOLLOW!

You won't regret it! PROMISE, CROSS MY HEART HOPE TO DIE.

Claudine's a very very good friend of mine :) We've shared a lot of secrets together, and she's one of the best girl friends/sister that you'll ever have! I SWEAR!

She writes good posts about her journey with God. It's really heartwarming and inspiring to read blogs like that, and it's very rare to find someone who is so spiritually smart like her.

Please, do follow (kahit na alam kong walang nagbabasa nito hahahaha) :) Thank you!!!

A friend or a foe?

A friend or a foe?

When will you know if a friend is a friend and a friend is a foe?

Friendship is a really complicated relationship, it's much more complicated than having a romantic relationship with a stupid dumb senseless guy.

One of my best friends was arguing with my ex about relationships.

X: You won't understand what we're going through because you don't have a relationship with her.
Friend: Duh, friendship is a relationship.

And she's right. Friendship is one of the most important relationship that you'll ever be into.

Without your friends, you are in deep shit brother. Deep deep shit. Of course you'll always have your family, but it's always different with your family and your friends.

Two of the most significant people in my life: family and friends. And I thank God everyday for blessing me with such wonderful family and friends.

Back to the topic, when will we ever know?

I have friends and I can say that some of them are genuinely real and some MAY be not. I don't know. And I may be their friend and sometimes I may not be the nicest person you want to know.

I do bad stuff, mean stuff and cruel stuff. And most of the time, I don't care. Does that make me a friend or a foe? Because I really wonder what are the limits on being a good friend and a bad friend.

When will we know when we will stop trusting a friend and stop caring? When will we know if we should just let that friend go rather than knowing he/she doesn't care at all? But as a friend, I know I shouldn't just give up. But what if it's time to give up and just let go? What if it's too much? How much more can a friend take until he/she's full of all the shit already?

It is really hard losing a close friend, at first it will hurt so much, and at some point you'll just stop caring and feeling anything because you're too numb from the pain of drifting away from them. And that's really hard and sad... You will just feel lonely all the time even you're with them. It's like having a gap or barrier in between the two of you, like there's something lost.

Trust is one of the major components in friendship, and when you lose that, it's like everything is gone. Friendship is gone. And trust is one of the hardest thing to take back.

Another important component is respect. You can tease all you want, mock all you want, but you should know the limit when your friend is gonna get hurt with what you're doing and what you've said. Respecting each others personal pasts and feelings. Being sensitive and considerate with his/her feelings. Having respect for each other makes your friendship stronger.

Being reasonable in the most possible way. And understanding each others opinions.

Backstabbing is a no-no. But I am really good at it (especially with other people/people I'm not "actually" friends with) which makes me the worst person. NOOOO!!!! I WANT TO STOP. I am such a judgmental person. Back stab is a back stab  it's either you tell it directly or you back stab him/her. It's either you hurt him/her with your words or hide things from him/her.

And lastly, saying you're sorry. A lot of people say that sorry is not enough. But a sincere apology from a friend means everything especially when you know it's not just a sorry but also a change. But once a sorry is abused and you never learn from what you're apologizing for, it's not sincere, it will just be a word.

I don't even know the rules for friendship, I just trust my guts and heart with what I'm supposed to be as a friend. So how would I know if a friend is a friend and a friend is a foe? It's really complicated and I don't have a definite answer. I am just talking my heart out here. I can't even say that I'm a good friend, because I can be a bitch at times.

If I let my friend do stuff that I don't want and isn't comfortable with me but he/she still continues to do it, will that make me a bad friend for not telling her what I initially feel and let her do those stuff? Should I be the one to be blamed for not doing my part for not talking in the first place and letting things happen? Or should he/she be the one to be blamed for not even thinking if someone is gonna get affected (even I didn't talk)?

I don't really know. And some part of me is really really tired now, whether it is my fault or his/hers, I don't actually care anymore. I am just fucking tired of things like these. Maybe some of you might think I don't have any patience or understanding, but seriously, I really did my best to understand and be patient with everything ever since. But I am really tired of waiting and thinking that someday, maybe it will change. And I just need a friend that would actually care about how I feel, even just a LITTLE. A friend that I could actually trust. Call me selfish, but this is what I know on how to be a friend.

I'm not saying I don't want him/her to be happy, I actually want that. That's what I always want with my friends, that I know he/she is happy, for real. And I don't want to ruin that. That is why I let things happen, even I don't want it. As long as they're happy, I am too. But at some point, you will really feel tired and exhausted. Regret things and wonder. And eventually, you'll feel sad. Then you will wonder until when are you gonna understand? And when you stop understanding, will that make you a bad friend?

And right now, I just want to be happy. Perfectly happy. And the hardest part for me is to pretend that I don't care at all when I really do.

Will it be my fault if i start to drift away? And will it be my fault if he/she will start to get sad because I didn't understand his/her situation? There are a lot of question. And answering all of it will be difficult, so I will just let them hang in there and see what might happen in the future.

But at the end of each day, you just need to accept the fact that at some point you've made a mistake (whether it's a petty mistake or no mistake at all). And deep inside there might be some regrets and pain, but everything will be alright. And you'll soon learn that your love with your friend is greater than anything that will happen between the two of you. And you'll just hope that he/she feels the same way, too.
P.S. It doesn't mean you accept the mistake or bless him/her with what he/she have done, you just accept the fact that the mistake's already done.

Friendship is something you need to take care of, nourish, nurture it into something beautiful and accept it with all its flaws. And when you continually fail in doing one of those, I tell you, there will be no friendship at all. It takes two to tango, you know.

Yours truly,

Sandy ♥

Control freak

I have always been a controlling brat since slspgnanaofhejqod jdiskfbf jdiqkqnfbrj (confidential story, not a thing I wanna say publicly, maybe someday).

I love to control things as if I'm the boss of everyone. And the worst part is, I don't want to be controlled. I don't want to feel inferior, I want to be superior.

I control everything and everyone (except for my parents and certain people I respect). Whenever I need an answer from my friends or someone I'm talking to, I want the answer to be the one I am expecting to hear.

Bossing around people gives me great joy. LOL. And I think a lot of people hates me because of it. But I don't always get what I want, it's just the thought of bossing around that makes me happy. But I'm not like one of those kontrabida-type-of-person-who-laughs-mwahahahahahaha-whenever-she-bosses-around.

I know this sounds so "OMG WHY IS SHE LIKE THAT EW AS IF SHE'S A QUEEN BLAH BLAH BLAH". I know I'm not but for certain reasons I've become one. I don't like it, but it REALLY gives me great pleasure whenever I do it. Huhuhu 

In all honesty, when I don't get what I expect to receive, I get annoyed which in some point I get really silent and irritable. You won't be able to talk to me properly. Then after some minute I'll be my crazy old self and feel ashamed of how shallow I can be. I'm just that weird.

I really want to control things, I want everything the way I want it to be. I feel like I'm a princess, everyone's supposed to serve and please me. HAHAHAHAHA OK THAT SOUND SO CHILDISH AND BITCHY. I AM REALLY SORRY. I just need to be honest. Hehehe

Last night, I was wondering when will I be able to let go of my bossy personality. It's not doing me any good (but it's really really fun, [this is my bossy side talking sorry]). Maybe when I meet someone that could intimidate me and humble me? Someone who could make me listen?

And as I am typing that last sentence I just realized that it's God, our Father, who can humble us and talk to us. And it's up to me if I am going to listen... and that's when I can let go my bad sides.

As for now, I need patience, understanding, control (for my temper) and more patience to really change myself. Hehehe. Wish me all the luck in the world!!!

Goodnight world! 

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,

Sandy

Books

I love reading. I love the smell of a fresh book. It's one of the nicest thing in the world.

I've been a book lover since my Mum bought me this young adult books when I was in my freshman year in highschool. The book was Mates, Dates and  Sequin Smiles by Cathy Hopkins. (I know "mates" sounds like a book not suitable for a young adult, but the author is an English novelist so yeah.)

The book was actually a series and my mother bought me the 7th book, so I waited until I can buy the first books before reading it. I actually enjoyed reading them and that was when I started reading books. 

I am a book lover, but I can't call myself a bookworm. LOL. I'm too far from being a bookworm.

I have this dream of having my own library someday, in my own home. Or just a simple room full of books. 8->

Books are actually expensive (it's one of the reasons why I'm always broke and lose all my savings or my mothers' HAHAHA), and it's a good feeling whenever you buy a new book. It's just really ahhhhh~  

Reading a book keeps me sane. I don't get bored, I can read a book all day without noticing the day had already passed. And finishing a good book will always make you want to read it over and over again. Imagining stuff and all. And sometimes it makes you want to have that story for you life. (Is that shallow or what? Sorry. Haha)

I just want new books. Huhuhuhuhu :(

I don't know if this post made any sense to any of you. I'm so sorry. I just needed to post something or else I'll never be a famous blogger. =)) HAHAHA

Bye!! :)

It's not fun in the Philippines

I am not a hater (maybe I am, whatever), I'm just stating my own opinion. Hehe. (Am I gonna be penalized with cyber crime for this post? Huhu :-s)

I haven't been around the Philippines to say these, but one thing's for sure, it's not actually fun in the Philippines, or should I say, Metro Manila.

I grew up in a province to know the difference between a good life and a polluted life. Philippines has its own pros and MORE cons. I can say that there are a lot of beautiful places here in the Philippines, but it needs development. Most of them are outside Metro Manila, which is really a good thing.

The best part of this country are its natural resources. The beaches, the virgin forests, the mountains, and some maintained tourist destinations/attractions. I am really glad that some people are aware of the harm that can destroy our nature and they are making a move to help maintain it. (I am not proud that I am not part of an organization or what. Haha. Lazy-ass and blabber mouth over here.)

The worst part is Metro Manila or our all-star celebrity government or the people. IDK which.

1. I hate everything about Manila except for the malls (hahahaha)
2. BUSES & JEEPS -- nightmare!!!! Just go away please. Everyone hates you. If I have the right to destroy all the buses and jeeps here in Manila, I'll do it whole-heartedly!!!! Or I'll just remove everything or change the rules for PUJs / PUVs.
3. Traffic -- another worst nightmare.
4. Corruption -- seriously? Do you think this will help us? Dumb-asses.
5. Politicians -- OMG DO YOUR JOBS RIGHT!!!!! (Batukan ko kayo eh) Please cooperate with your people, don't be selfish and stupid. People voted for you because they thought you have brains. Well, now they're all doubting that. There are a lot more problems that needed to be solved than those stupid laws you're making a big deal of. (DON'T SUE ME PLEASE HUHU)
6. People -- don't be selfish. Don't rebel. Cooperate. (OMG I'M SUCH A HYPOCRITE HEHEHE)

I love the Philippines in its own broken and beautiful way.

It's fun being a Filipino, I love it and I'm proud of being one. But it's not fun in the Philippines, for now. (Can someone please change the line #itsmorefuninthephilippines to #itsfunbeingafilipino) Hehehehe because those are two different things.

Sewing for the first time

Hello hello!!

I have this bestfriend who loves to sew, as in she really loves it. Kidding, she loves it but I don't know how much. So anyway, I got jealous and bought my own sewing machine. Because I'm a very selfish girl and want to make clothes for myself. Hehe

Sorry for the poor quality of the photo.
Singer Talent 3323

I was so happy when I bought the machine, and was planning on making lots and lots of clothes. But the only problem is, I AM A LAZY ASS. Huhu. I don't have any patience. I want everything instant, so I thought that I wasted my money on something I don't actually like. Boo hoo.

Then I asked my bestfriend to help/teach me some basics on sewing. So she agreed on doing a baby DRESS for my cousin. Hihi. It was supposed to be the cutest dress ever BUT, we didn't have enough time to finish it because of work blahblah so I ended up making a baby BLOUSE. Hahahaha. FYI, the ruffles were the hardest part and we need to make like 3 ruffles, and I don't have a foot for that. 

P.S. Please donate a gathering foot or a ruffler foot, and I promise I'll make a very very ruffly dress. 

Front

Back

Isn't it the cutesstt!!! My bestfriend actually made 80% of that dress. I just watched her cut and sew.
LEARNING FROM THE BEST. ;)

So after that, I found my lost passion for sewing (HAHAHA) and tried to make simple stuff first before doing ruffles again. So I bought some cloth (checkered fleece and plain cotton) for a dog bed!! Hihi. I'm gonna make my dogs cool beds. Haha.

The finished product isn't that perfect, OK. IT'S MY FIRST EVER PROJECT, SO BE NICE.

I made the hole too large for my babygirl. Haha.

So after that, I tried making my Cheese a dress. Because a dog dress is small and easy to make. LOL. The bed is actually better looking than the dress. Hahahaha. I'm so sorry. I was so sleepy when I was finishing the dress.

The middle part was supposed to be just a straight line, but I forgot to change the stitch  to straight and was too lazy to rip the zigzag, so I just kept it that way. Hahaha
I used one of our extra ruffles for the skirt part. Hehe

Cheese ♥

It fit her perfectly! <3 Hihi such a pretty babygirl.

P.S. While doing Cheese's dress, I broke two needles because of the button. And broke one button into half because of the needle. Hahaha

BOO HOO!

Next week or this week, I'm gonna make myself a skirt. Just a simple one, no ruffles at all. HAHAHA! #nottoruffles

P.S. One thing I hate about sewing = PINNING. #nottopinning

I WANNA LEARN HOW TO SEW BETTER!!! I can't wait to make perfectly sewed dresses. Fingers crossed.

Goodnight!!!! :)